If you aren’t cisgender heteroromantic heterosexual, you belong in the queer community. I’m sick of seeing this bullshit “you aren’t queer enough” sort of community policing.
And by “cisgender heteroromantic heterosexual” I mean ALL THREE of those things.
Are you a trans (binary or nonbinary) person who is attracted sexually and romantically to the opposite gender? You belong in the LGBTA+ community.
Are you a cis person who is heteroromantic asexual? You belong.
Are you a cis person who is heterosexual aromantic? You belong.
Are you a cis bisexual who is currently dating a cis member of the opposite gender? You belong.
Are you an intersex individual who otherwise is heteroromantic heterosexual? You belong.
Stop trying to alienate people based on some fucked-up “level of queerness”. There are enough problems in the LGBTA+ community without people being exclusive.
SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT
no. no no no no no no no no. no. no.
cis heteros are not queer. the definition of queer is “not cis hetero.”
cis bi/pan people are queer because they are not hetero, no matter who they are currently dating/fucking.
trans people are queer because being hetero is based on being cis. i mean if a trans person defines themselves as not queer of course that is their right! but lgbt+ rights need to include the rights of trans people as well because lgbt+ rights are for people who do not have cis hetero privilege.
CIS HETEROS ARE NOT QUEER.
being asexual/aromantic has nothing to do with it, ESPECIALLY if you are cis hetero one or the other.
- do not identify as queer if you are a cis girl who only has sex with cis boys and does not date them. you are not queer.
- do not identify as queer if you are a cis boy who only dates cis girls and does not have sex with them. you are not queer.
- do not identify as queer if you are a cis person who does not date or have sex or feel attraction to people at all. there is nothing wrong with you! i’m sure you are a lovely person! it is TOTALLY NORMAL to not want to date or have sex or feel attraction! our culture would try to tell you that it is not normal and it is not often that you will see yourself portrayed in the media and that totally sucks because we need ace representation! however you are not queer.
if you are cis hetero you are not queer. you are welcome to speak up for queer rights and issues and you have a duty not to be homophobic or an asshole in general but do not IDENTIFY as queer and do not INSIST ON BEING WELCOMED IN QUEER-ONLY SPACES.*
*to clarify: allies who are cis hetero and “allies” who identify as cis hetero because they are not able to come out for whatever reason are of course welcome to participate in any and all lgbt+ community events. the more the merrier! however if a space is explicitly “queer only” because reasons, people who identify as cis hetero are not welcome. if you identify as cis hetero you do not have the right to argue that you should be included in queer only spaces. you also should not speak as an authority on queer issues if you are cis hetero. that is not okay.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that any post trying to crowbar back the gate keeping bullshit within the QUILTBAG community will bring forward a demonstration of said gate keeping bullshit.
A-yo aromantic folks, you’re still “queer enough”, I don’t give a shit about who anyone is having sex with or whatever, your identity is valid and okay and you belong here.
but like no? again yeah aromantic asexual totally valid. totally normal. totally not mainstream and totally has its own community and issues and i am never not on board with representation and discussion and visibility and not erasing ace people. but not queer.
no one who has not experienced attraction to/feelings for/sex with people in a non-hetero way is queer. “i used to be gay but now i’m ace” cool you were queer and now you’re not. “i used to be bi but now i’m straight” ok that’s your thing you identify your own way. “i never dated anyone and never wanted to and everyone assumes that i’m sick or broken because of that” you’re right that totally sucks i want to normalize that state of being because there is nothing at all wrong about being ace. but being ace is inherently not the same as being not hetero.
it’s not gatekeeping. i have no right to gatekeep and i have nothing to keep behind a gate anyway. the definition of queer or lgbt+ necessarily includes having experienced attraction on the non-hetero spectrum. ace people who have not experienced non-hetero attraction are not queer.
Still don’t care who anyone is or isn’t fucking! I’m not a gross straight person insisting that non-straight identities are only about sex! Work that internalized bullshit out and stop spewing garbage about asexual and aromantic people! This conversation is over, and this is a deal-breaker for me continuing to talk to you full-stop! Even though I am very grateful to you for our shared history together, I just cannot. Girl, for real. For REAL. You’ve got some fucked up ideas about identities that aren’t yours, and you’re saying some painfully hurtful shit right now. Please go listen to some ace and aro people and try to non-judgmentally hear what they are saying. They are not “like creepy cis straight bdsm people trying to identify as queer” or whatever the tag was you used. Like…jfc. No? No.